Thursday, February 14, 2008

The Scottish Sense of Humor

Of any place I've ever been in, Scotland has perhaps the best grasp on it's history. Unlike some places, they don't simply treat every little site as worthy of massive memorials, even when the event in question is massively important to their history.

For instance, two rather important things in Scots history are John Knox and the Act of Union, uniting Scotland and England.

For rather obvious reasons, the Scots are rather ashamed of these two. The Act of Union, because....well, Rabbie Burns says it best...

Fareweel to a' our Scottish fame
Fareweel our ancient glory
Fareweel ev'n to the Scottish name
Sae famed in martial story
Now Sark rins o'er the Solway sands
An' Tweed rins to the ocean
To mark where England's province stands
Such a parcel of rogues in a nation

What force or guile could not subdue
Thro' many warlike ages
Is wrought now by a coward few
For hireling traitor's wages
The English steel we could disdain
Secure in valors station;
But English gold has been our bane-
Such a parcel of rogues in a nation

O, would, or had I seen the day
That Treason thus could sell us
My auld grey head had lien in clay
Wi' Bruce and loyal Wallace
But pith and power, till my last hour
I'll mak this declaration-
"We were bought and sold for English gold"
Such a parcel of rogues in a nation


And they don't like Knox....well, because he was a tit. Seriously, a absolute pompous, bloviating, Fundamentalist maroon.

So, how do the Scots honor these two?

Well, the spot where the finally signature was put on the act of union (the signators were moving about because a crowd of Edinburgh citizens were chasing them up and down the Royal mile, with murder in their hearts) is currently the ladies toilet in an Italian restaurant.

And John Knox?

His grave is spot #23 in the Old Parliment building's parking lot.

I really, really love this country.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

A moment of your time..

Interesting things from the net.

the foodstamp challenge: http://foodstampchallenge.typepad.com/

This is a challenge to live for one week, on $21, the amount of money that the foodstamp program provides.

There are, undoubtedly, those who will claim that "They lived quite well on twenty-one dollars a week when they were growing up!"]

Unfortunately, inflation and devaluation have taken their toll.

This is a problem I've found myself facing recently. You see, I'm spending a semester studying at Edinburgh University, where my dollar is only a half pound. And there is no such thing as a meal plan, you buy and cook your own food.

This has lead the other 7 americans and myself to band together, each kick in 20 quid a week and buy food for all eight of us. Now, this is the UK, and organic, fresh produce is readily availible, and even cheaper, in some cases, than the other stuff. And its still horribly expensive to eat. Whats more, we have two or three hours to wander around the store and pick the best deals, a luxury that a poor single parent running from one job to the other notably does NOT have.

So for those who have their doubts about the effectiveness of welfare, and the easy life of a so called "welfare queen" who "spend their money on booze," then take the challenge.

Monday, February 4, 2008

Piper at the Gates of Dawn

Have you ever heard the bagpipes? Not just on a recording, but in person? And most especially up close?

There is a sort of vague impression of the bagpipes as meloncholy because come evening the noise can be heard drifting in over the hills and glens.

Yeah, it drifts over hill and glen because they are friggin' loud. Jet airplane loud. Punk Rock show loud. Angry Irish wife loud.

Loud.

The story behind this is my first upclose and personal with the 'pipes. Backstory? Of course.


One friday night about two weeks ago, as is the custom in the wretched hive of scum and villiany (otherwise known as Kitchner House) we had gathered in the upstairs kitchen for an evening of light entertainment. Pepsi and Orange juice were consumed, along with pate and french bread (one of the simplest and best meals I've had in long time.) Anyway, round about that magical time of night when its more morning than night but you just can't bring yourself to admit it, we were listening to Scottish music (you HAVEN'T heard I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) until you've heard "I will walk 500 miles" bellowed by about ten very proud Scotsmen.) One of the lads tapped me on the shoulder and said (well, bellowed) "Ross'll be coming in with the bagpipes in a second!" Being extremely...tired at this point, I assumed he meant that the song had a piping bit.

About twenty seconds later, the kitchen door swings open to reveal Ross, whose name, in a flash of brilliance, extrapolated from the set of pipes almost the same size as him. At this point, all the Americans let out a collective gasp of wonder and joy. The pipes were tuned (a ghastly noise) and then Ross lit into "scotland the brave." (a modern version can be heard here- http://youtube.com/watch?v=KK6jHFezO_8 )

Pipers are impressive in the open air. In a 20x10 kitchen at 4:30 in the AbygodM they are...mindshattering. "Loud 'n proud 'n bowld" as the Scots saying goes.

Which all goes by way of saying One) if anyone offers to pipe for you, open a window lest you end up bleeding from the ears. Two) Bagpipes are awesome, and Three) I found a set of miniature pipes I might send home to my baby sister.


That ok with you, mom?

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Edinburgh

Spent Sunday exploring the city. Fantastic place, seems as old as the hills in some places, and fresh as tomorrow in others. (my apologies, by the way, if all of the imagery in this post is that bad. It's been a long couple of days)

Anyway, my friend and I decided to wander up to the castle, through the Royal Mile. For those who aren't up on the specifics of Scottish cartography, the Royal Mile is the main street of Edinburgh, called the Royal Mile because at one end is Edinburgh Castle, and at the other is Holyrood (pronounced just like it's spelled) House, the main palace.

We decided to go the the Castle. The walk through the Royal mile is gorgeous, albeit filled with tourist traps. Lots and lots of tourist traps, filled with cheap kilts, and with the bagpipe music cranked up. Trust me, any possible travelers, get away from the Royal Mile as quickly as possible. You won't find anything there that you can't find anywhere else twice as good and twice as cheap.

Still, wandering along the Mile was fun, and, hey, if you don't fall into a few traps, then whats the fun of being a tourist? There are all the usual things you expect along heavily touristed areas...for instance, the man (who looked disturbingly like Mel Gibson) posing as William Wallace for the tourists. The castle itself, however, is so old and grand, that any attempt to touristy it up would just look cheap and really stupid. Fortunately, whoever is in charge of these things knows that as well and is more than smart enough to leave well enough alone. Anyway, just wandering around the castle takes several hours. We decided to start from the top and work our way down.

Now, those of you who are opposed to full on history-geek mode, might want to skip these next few bits, and go to the end, where I will be discussing accents. Edinburgh Castle isn't just old. It's frigging ancient. And that's by my standards, the Greek-Rome scholar standards. It's huge, blocky, and real. This isn't some fairy tale, 1800's rich man's folly filled with turrets and spires. This castle was designed for battles. You want pretty little spires and kings and queens in funny hats, it's only a mile to Holyrood.

Speaking of funny hats, the single coolest thing there, was the Scottish Crown jewels. A Sword, A Scepter, A Crown and a Stone to be precise. The Sword was a gift from the pope, the scepter was (if I recall correctly) from when wayyyyy back when the Scots and the Picts got together, the stone is the traditional place of crowning the kings, and the crown...well supposedly part of it is from the original circlet that Robert the Bruce wore. They were presumed lost until none other that Sir Walter Scott rediscovered them. Imagine, americans, that the Declaration of independence, orignal copy of the Constitution, Mount Vernon, and the White House had all been missing for 111 years, and then someone found them. You'd build them Scott's monument too.

Anyway, for my friend, who has a wee obsession with royalty (not really my cup of tea, as I will explain some other time.) the room where Mary Queen of Scots stayed was the coolest bit. As were all the pictures of James VI and I. (That little scumsucker Weldon (yes, I do get passionate about things that happened in the 1600's. HISTORY MAJOR. Jesus, people do I have to etch it in stone?) was full of crap about him, by the way)

There are also some other cool things, like the fact that several royal regiments are based here, and so there are wonderful little nooks to go and study their history. Yes, I know that "little nooks to go and study their history" has a technical term attached to it. I just can't spell it right now and I'm too lazy to look it up. Starts with M ends with M. Anyway, they have things in there that make my little history mind jump up and down. Like the flag captured from Napoleon's OWN REGIMENT.

Anyway, can't reccomend the place highly enough. I'll turn off the history geek now.

Accents! More specifically, MY accent. I've always picked up accents fantastically quickly. Put me in Georgia for ten minutes, and most people would swear I was born on the banks of the Chattahoochee. The only problem so far is, while surrounded with scottish people, I've also been hanging out quite a bit with a couple Irish people. I don't quite know what I'm developing, but it's interesting. And more than likely, given the almost fetishistic fascination some american women have with Celtic boys, incredibly sexy.

Anyway, have fun. Reports soon....Burns night is this Friday, so I will try to update on Sunday...when I wake up.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Loch Lomond

Sorry this is later than I planned, lads and lassies.

So, the Loch Lomond trip. The day started off well, with everyone else in the group, save me, deciding that going off the night before and getting completely pissed was a good idea. So, since the bus leaves at 10 AM, and it is an 45 minute walk to the main campus, we should be up by eight, gone at nine. Guess who was still asleep at 9 am? Everyone. Finally, we got a taxi, and arrived just in time.

It's about two hours from Edinburgh to the Loch. This is two hours through some of the most astonishing gorgeous countryside I've ever seen. America, give up now. I've never seen anything like it. I've traveled through upstate NY, the Carolinas, Georgia, Maine, New England and everywhere in between, and this is the most beautiful countryside I've ever seen.

First getting to the loch is a bit startling. It's a national park, so it's built up, with a nice, if rather expensive, shopping center front and center. Going through this, you see the Loch for the first time. And at first, it's not impressive. But then, you come around the bend in the path, and you see the body of the lake, spread out before you. Shrouded in fog, with the far banks looking like a fairy world, and a town, wavering delicately in and out of sight. If any of you every wondered why this country produced people like David Hume, Adam Smith, James Connolly, Mark Knopfler, James VI and I, John Knox, Walter Scott, George Macdonald, A.A. Milne, Robert Louis Stevenson and Rabbie Burns, then you don't have too any longer. Stay too long in this climate, gaze too long at this scenery, and you'll turn into a poet sure as god made little green apples. No wonder this country produces such a disporportunate percentage of writers, poets, and scientists.

There is, among other attractions, a lovely little castle, set up by some early eighteenth century lord. Lucky bastard got to live there. To anyone who might be going there-when you first enter the park, you walk a bit, taking the main path. It will look like you are going into town. Cross over the bridge, and you're back in the park though. There is a point where the main path splits, and you can either go over field and fen, then up to the castle, or go along hugging the shore of the loch. What I did was stick with the loch, then cross over (wear waterproof boots or shoes.)If the fog is thick enough, you can't see the castle, until you're headed up the hill. My advice for a a good view, there is a small, paved path leading to the left of the castle (as you are facing it. There is a tree on one side, and a tree stump on the other. Stand on the stump, and you get a fan-tas-tic view of the loch, virtually unobstructed. I spent some time wandering about the lovely gardens, but most looking at the loch. My advice-pack a lunch, sit on the hill, or the stump and just look. It's worth it.

This weekend-exploring Edinburgh! Posts to follow!

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

SCOTLAND!

Update from Scotland:

We landed at Gatwick about 6:30 local, on the 2nd of January. We then proceded to stand in line in this horrible que for about an hour, with me hauling my girlfriends horribly heavy baggage over hill and over dale. THEN I got singled out for special quizzing by the security people, followed by being singled out for the shoe scan. Apparently the 6' 1" unshaved american with the leather jacket looked suspicious.

We then hung around, converted some money, and finally got on ANOTHER flight to Scotland. Landing in Glasgow, after a freakishly long and miserable flight, we go to reclaim our bags, only to discover that my friend Laura(http://willyougolassiego.blogspot.com/) was missing her baggage. So we tracked that down, and went to get a taxi. The original plan was: taxi to train, train to Edinburgh, taxi to hostel. The guy heard us discussing this, said for �15 each he'd take us the whole way. Later we calculated that with the amount of baggage, it would have cost us nearly �25 to go with the original plan.

So, we're exhausted, haven't slept, eaten, severe jet lag, and it's only six PM. So we decide to head out and and find a pub for somehing to eat, since we can't go to sleep right away. So we are wandering about, when what should we discover but a carnival! Apparently the last night of Hogmanay there is a big carnival. So we wandered around, ate carnie food, and discovered how the money works.

Our first sight of Edinburgh was at night, lit with Christmas lights, in the middle of a huge party. Never say that Scotland doesn't know how to say hello. We wandered across the bridge to the other side of the central train station and turned around.

This place has the most stunning skyline in the world. On the right; Edinburgh castle, followed by St. Killian's Cathedral, assorted "smaller" cathedrals and churches, and most amazing of all, the Scott Memorial. I gotta say, this puts the Washington monument to shame. Not in size, but because it looks like a beautiful gothic spire taken off of Westminster abbey and stuck in the middle of town.

Thursday we went out for breakfast, then decided to head out to the main University check in point to make sure everything was in order. We decided to walk. THREE HOURS LATER we decided we were lost and decided to walk back.

OH! We had snow too. Not little flurries, but BIG FRICKIN' flakes. With strong winds. AND those little flakes that sting. All while rambling around Edinburgh. Actually, with the layering, the light jacket I had was more than enough.The only bits of me at all cold were head and hands. Since I didn't have gloves or a hat, my hair got all snowy and wet (although, I must say, I will look rather dashing when I get old, assuming I don't bald) and my hands were chilly, but I was surprisingly comfy. Moral, always layer.

Friday, we mostly stayed in, only venturing out for dinner. We went to a little hole in the wall diner. Oh, next time you get fish and chips: vinegar and salt. A pox upon ketchup!

Trips to the store have been very comforting. Basically, although the pound is almost 2-1, everything (or at least the staples) is about half numerically. Also, the places were were at was basically an in-city 7-11, so things are more expensive there. Our dorm is across from a standard grocery store so things should be cheaper. Also, shopping in bulk. However, that term "in bulk " is a bit misleading. More like, lots-of-small-packages-that-are-cheap-cuz-scots-aren't-fat-americans.

School has started since then. Classes look fascinating! I've sucessfully rearranged my classes so that I only have class Monday and thursday, WOOHOO! I've met some interesting people here. However, this week has been astonishingly busy with the first week of classes, so little more to report.

I'm really not sure how they are going to get me back from this country. It's fantasic. At thats only the running-around-the-city-dealing-with-red-tape bits. This weekend there is an excursion to Loch Lomond (yes, the one from the song) so I should return with stories.

Also, one last note. Any readers: quick, cheap, decent, easy to make recipies would be much appreciated. We are doing group dinners, so anything to add to the mix will be welcome!

Cheers,

Cary

Monday, December 31, 2007

Leaving on a Jet Plane

It's that time, finally.

I'm going to Scotland! It's going to be the most amazing experience ever.

And I still can't quite believe it's happening!

So watch this space...as my offical blog I'll use this space to record the trip.

So theological musings, AND a travel blog. If I get a sprite comic I will be the ultimate cliche.

By the way- my friend Laura Rose is also chronicling her trip to Scotland; her blog's URL is: http://willyougolassiego.blogspot.com/

So goodbye to the US, hello to the world. It's one of those moments. Half joyful, half tears.

But that's the Celtic story, isn't it?

And because I can't resist...
"O ye’ll tak’ the high road and I’ll tak’ the low road,
And I’ll be in Scotland afore ye."